加拿大华人论坛 加拿大留学移民求助，帮忙看下SP ，英语不好啊。。

在加拿大

Study Plan​Dear visa officer: I am writing this letter to explain my plan for following 14 months study in Canada and my further career. n Why I wish to come to Canada to study at the school and in the program ?​Ø Why I choice this college in Canada[FONT=宋体]？[/FONT] 1) I believe I and this program is prefect matched each other, that is why I am so eager to pursue my study in Diploma in Accounting Program in Sauder Business school in University of British Columbia. After read their admission requirement, I believe I am the ideal candiate they are looking for. This graduate diploma program required academic score in 65% , four-year Bacholor’s degree also is proficient in Englih as 6.5 in IELTS(A). As I have meet their requirement, thus they give me acceptance letter. The course they offered is exactly what I wanted, the program combines theory with practical application, and emphasizes business fundamentals and critical thinking. 2) This course will accelerate my career. Firstly, DAP's intensive curriculum satisfies many of the course requirements for the CA, CGA or CMA programs, (Certified General Accountants Association of British Columbia). That is means, it provided the flexibility of transferring credits to CA, CGA or CMA programs as get exemption.[FONT=宋体]（[/FONT]For the details, please refer to appendix 1[FONT=宋体]）[/FONT]. When I finished this program, I could complete level 4 in CGA in a short time, because almost all courses in CGA Level 1-4 is exempted. And I only have last PACE and then could get designation after gained 3 year experience. [FONT=宋体]实习。。[/FONT]CGA among ….. professional accounting designation 3) The last reason is because Sauder school of Business is one of four best School of Business in Canada, it is no-doubtful that the learning resource, facility and daculty is excellent. Ø Why you choice this subject? Tough Question: There is many CGA study centres in China, why I don't stay and study in China?As you know, CGA is Certified General Accountants Association not China General Accounting. I believe these local professors in Sauder School of Business will show me a completed Canadan Business World with unique view instead of one struggling to describe it. Secondly, I hope I could learning the western thinking model, analysis method, multi-national culture which is rare in China. Thirdly, I would like to study in a full-English environment to enhance my language ability. Why don't I continue study ACCA in UK but change to Canada?First reason is Why don't I study a Master Program but a Graduate Diploma Program?Does this too easy for you as you have a Bachlor’s degree in Accounting?As mentioned above, this program can take me towards my goal of becoming a CGA. But I don't think another Master Program so close to my goal.In the first term of this program, there are some basic courses in accounting, but the Accounting System in UK is not the same in Canada, that is why I still need to study this program. And, a four-year Bacholr’s degree is the admission requirement of this program, Will I back China when I finished study[FONT=宋体]？[/FONT] n Overall Educational GoalMy study objective is using 14 months to gain the Diploma in Accounting Program in Sauder Business school in UBC, by complete 11 courses. I believe I could study well and graduate. After that I am planing to get a CGA which may get the Level 4 in a short time. And I am planing to back to China to find a job. During this preiod, I believe I ready have enough fund to support my tuition fee and living fee without any financial aid from third party . It is expected that the total fee is……. and I have prepared …… n How this Canadian diploma/degree will increase my employment chancesI could see a pretty bright career perspective when I finished this program,. Firstly, the CGA have bring me many advantages, as in China the CGA have been recoginzed by many companies as well as CPA, ACCA. Secondly, my oversea study experience could help me to get China, the most quickly growing country with huge potientcial opportunities and on the way to open to the world, there are huge demand in accounting and business talents with high professional educational background, ability in English communication, and could understand the multi-national culture, sturcture, and thinking pattem, but also know the situation in China. I think when I back to my country, equiped with advanced knowledge, familiar with multi-natioanl situation, have the capability to communication in English and also know the local situation of China, I do have the unparallent advantage to build my career, to get my dream. Besides, as a only child in my familiy, it is impossibile to leave my family. And if I back to China , there are is better platform for me due to some local relationship. For more information, please have a look at www.sauder.ubc.ca CGA

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回复: 求助，帮忙看下SP ，英语不好啊。。你能解释一下这个文章的目的吗？这个文章写得不是很好，如果用雅思作文来衡量，最多5分。

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回复: 求助，帮忙看下SP ，英语不好啊。。楼主是想去UBC 的DAP？这个cover letter写的，恕我直言(抱歉)，看的有点前言不答后语,英语表达比较差，但是更重要的是很没有逻辑 帮你改了最后段，如下文供参考，用word在原文上改的，但是帖上来修改的部分没了，直接成改完后的样子了，由于不太了解楼主的情况，最后强调回国的那段写的不够细致，楼主自己再润色润色吧 供参考 How will this Canadian diploma/degree increase my employment opportunitiesFirstly, I believe the CGA certificate can add great value on my future career life..In China, the CGA is widely recognized by many companies in line with the CPA andACCA designations. Secondly, my oversea study experience could help me to get (not finished?) China, the most quickly growing country with huge potential opportunities, has huge demand in accounting and business talents with advanced professional training and education background. The future work force in China is expected to equip with great English communication skills, understanding of the multi-national culture, , critical thinking pattern, and also understanding the Chinese businessnorm. I think when I finish my study in Canada and get back to my country, I will be well equipped with advanced knowledge of accounting and business, be familiar with the multi-national culture, have the capability to communication fluently in English.. Until then, I believe I will have the unparalleled advantage to build my career, to get my dream. Besides, as the only child in my family, it is a hard decision to leave my family to chase my dream. All my ties and relations are here in China, studying in Canada won’t make it a clear cut of my ties back in China and that’s the most important reason for me to leave Canada after graduation and be back to my country to reunion with all my relations and build my career

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1.11Sydney妥投，3.2RN，6.14补料HK，6.15FN，7.1收到FN，7.23IP=ME 8.5收到ME，8.7体检.Mer ，PL,登陆回复: 求助，帮忙看下SP ，英语不好啊。。写得太不客气了，VO看完了肯定不爽

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