加拿大华人论坛 温哥华 Vancouver新年期间大家来说笑话!

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有次旅途中，一漂亮的空姐热情问一外籍夫妇，问要不要给他们的幼儿准备早餐什么的，那外籍男士出人意料用中文回答：“不用了，不用了，小孩吃的是人奶”。那漂亮的空姐为了表示诚意，毫不犹豫地说：“如果您的小孩想用餐，请随时通知我们”。

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多 超赞 赏 反馈:tzabcd, Amy_Y, 大雅 和 2 其他人 小鼠波波******管理成员 530$(VIP 0,#7) 18,2542014-02-09#2 回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!办公室一男同事早上来上班的路上顺带买了一盆菊花，喜滋滋的放在窗台上，中午吃过午饭回办公室，又立马去看他的菊花，发现花盆里有烟头，就大叫起来“谁TM这么缺德，把烟头插到我菊花里了……”

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多 超赞 赏 相 相知何必旧 0$(VIP 0) 5652014-02-09#3 回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!哈哈，空姐我要用餐

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回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!办公室一男同事早上来上班的路上顺带买了一盆菊花，喜滋滋的放在窗台上，中午吃过午饭回办公室，又立马去看他的菊花，发现花盆里有烟头，就大叫起来“谁TM这么缺德，把烟头插到我菊花里了……”点击展开...

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回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!有一回，有位姓高网友看到一只狗追着一只鸡追到河里了，他觉的很好玩，于是回家后告诉了她老婆。。。她老婆听后，冷冷地说道:“ 所有玩鸡的，都没有好下场”

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多 超赞 赏 反馈:1人 小鼠波波******管理成员 530$(VIP 0,#7) 18,2542014-02-09#6 回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!一妇女坐公交车，到站下车后摸摸口袋，完了！钥匙忘了在车上，这时车已经开了，　　她一边追一边喊：我钥匙在你车上，我钥匙在你车上！　　司机从后视镜看到也隐约听到，咕噜了句：神经病，哪里不死，要死在我车上！　　他一脚油门开走了！

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多一妇女坐公交车，到站下车后摸摸口袋，完了！钥匙忘了在车上，这时车已经开了，　　她一边追一边喊：我钥匙在你车上，我钥匙在你车上！　　司机从后视镜看到也隐约听到，咕噜了句：神经病，哪里不死，要死在我车上！　　他一脚油门开走了！点击展开...

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回复: 新年期间大家来说个笑话!点击展开...感谢班长分享快乐！

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!月月小时候经常把考试给考砸了，于是她爸很生气，就说:下回再考砸了，就别叫我爸爸。不久，期中考试成绩单发到手，月月胆怯地对她爸说：对不起，哥，我又考砸了。。。。

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多 超赞 赏 哆 哆啦A梦Guest 0$(VIP ) 2014-02-09#10 回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!（1） 一男赶集卖猪，天黑遇雨，二十头猪未卖成，到一农家借宿。 少妇说：家里只一人不便。 男：求你了大妹子，给猪一头。 女：好吧，但家只有一床。 男：我也到床上睡，再给猪一头。 女：同意。 半夜男与女商量，我到你上面睡，女不肯。 男：给猪两头。 女允，要求上去不能动。 少顷，男忍不住，央求动一下，女不肯。 男：动一下给猪两头。女同意。 男动了八次停下，女问为何不动？ 男说猪没了。 女小声说：要不我给你猪…… 天亮后，男吹着口哨赶30头（含少妇家的10头）猪赶集去了…… 哈佛导师评论：要发现用户潜在需求，前期必须引导，培养用户需求，因此产生的投入是符合发展规律的。

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!（2） 另一男得知此事，决意如法炮制，遂赶集卖猪，天黑遇雨，二十头猪未卖成，到一农家借宿 少妇说：家里只一人不便。 男：求你了大妹子，给猪一头 女：好吧，但家只有一床。 男：我也到床上睡，再给猪一头。 女：同意。 半夜男商女，我到你上面睡，女不肯。 男：给猪两头。 女允，要求上去不能动。 少顷，男忍不住，央求动一下，女不肯。 男：动一下给猪两头。女同意。 男动了七次停下，女问为何不动？ 男说：完事了～～～女：...... 天亮后，男低著头赶2头猪赶集去了...... 哈佛导师评论：要结合企业自身规模进行谨慎投资，谨防资金链断裂问题

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!（3） 又一男得知此事，决意如法炮制兼吸取教训，遂先用一头猪去换一粒伟哥. 事必，天亮后，男吹着口哨赶38头（含少妇家的18头）猪赶集去了…… 哈佛导师评论：企业如果获得金融资本的帮助，自身经营能力将得到倍增。 知道此法男多，伟哥供不应求，逐渐要2头,3头猪换一粒伟哥。 哈佛导师评论：这就是通货膨胀

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!母鸡对公牛发牢骚：“人类让我多下蛋，自己却计划生育，这太不公平了！”公牛不满的说：你这算个屁啊，全世界人民都喝我老婆的奶，谁TM跟我叫爹呀！

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多 超赞 赏 相 相知何必旧 0$(VIP 0) 5652014-02-09#14 回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!哈佛不愧是世界名校啊，

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk. He figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

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本人所有文章不得转载，并保留作品的所有权利。 超赞 赏 反馈:我的梦想我的路 小鼠波波******管理成员 530$(VIP 0,#7) 18,2542014-02-09#16 回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!净身出户某男曾试探对老婆说：我若有外遇，你会怎样对我？她老婆说:那就请你净身出户。某男听了，心里暗喜，不就大不了不要钱财罢了，于是开始花心找女人玩。。。后来玩女人被老婆发现了，就把心一横，说道：我净身出户。。。于是她老婆到厨房里拿出菜刀，说道：好啊，我帮你净身出户。。。

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活的太累，是因为能左右你心情的东西太多月月小时候经常把考试给考砸了，于是她爸很生气，就说:下回再考砸了，就别叫我爸爸。不久，期中考试成绩单发到手，月月胆怯地对她爸说：对不起，哥，我又考砸了。。。。点击展开...有一天大雪，熟哥，凹版主，小熊在亭中看家园网友为版主之位吵成一团热闹非凡。。。熟哥先吟：大雪纷纷落地。凹版主自持有才，摇头晃脑：还是小熊霸气。小熊眯着眼接了句：再吵三年妙极。月月刚好经过，听了很是气愤，怒喝一声：放特么的狗屁。。。

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!有一天大雪，熟哥，凹版主，小熊在亭中看家园网友为版主之位吵成一团热闹非凡。。。熟哥先吟：大雪纷纷落地。凹版主自持有才，摇头晃脑：还是小熊霸气。小熊眯着眼接了句：再吵三年妙极。月月刚好经过，听了很是气愤，怒喝一声：放特么的狗屁。。。点击展开...哈哈，真的呀！我咋没看到捏？月月威武！

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!哈哈，真的呀！我咋没看到捏？月月威武！点击展开...呵呵。。。胖蝉哥跟胖蝉嫂育有四个孩子。每次胖蝉哥叫老婆的时候都会大声叫道：四个孩子的妈。。。有一次家园千人宴，胖蝉哥见不到老婆，急了大叫：四个孩子的妈，四个孩子的妈！这时传来胖蝉嫂的狮子般怒吼：三个孩子的爹。。。。

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回复: 新年期间大家来说笑话!呵呵。。。胖蝉哥跟胖蝉嫂育有四个孩子。每次胖蝉哥叫老婆的时候都会大声叫道：四个孩子的妈。。。有一次家园千人宴，胖蝉哥见不到老婆，急了大叫：四个孩子的妈，四个孩子的妈！这时传来胖蝉嫂的狮子般怒吼：三个孩子的爹。。。。点击展开...哈哈！我乐死了！还有你的签名也很欢乐！

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