加拿大华人论坛 加拿大生活信息帮你搞定IBT独立写作（转）

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我是考托前两周才开始复习作文的。独立写作大家好像都说背模板有用，可我天生嫌麻烦的人，懒得费劲背大段大段的模板，我觉得如果是要凑字数的话多举例子也就行了。有的人写作练了好多篇，但是水平并没太大提高。我觉得有一个好方法就是把你写完的文章传到网上去，让别人帮你修改一下。俗话说“旁观者清”，在别人的帮助下会有利于你发现写作中的问题。最近秦苏珊英语网站正开展一个托福写作挑战赛的活动，把你写的文上传，然后会有专家老师批改，写得好还有奖拿。我觉得多参加几次这样的网上演练，可以多学点写作技巧，还是挺不错的。 在IBT作文写作部分很多人会有个疑问：开头应该怎么写呢。很多人在独立写作的第一段老是出错，最常见的错误是歪曲了原题目的意思，结果后面文章的意思都是围绕一个错误的观点展开，这样的文章自然得不了高分。其实写作最重要的一步就是审题，这个“审”可是大有学问，不是随便看一下就匆匆动手写作。 “磨刀不误砍材功嘛！”而审题准确有否最直接的体现就是文章的开篇段。一般来说，开篇段落的写作可分为两大步骤， 第一步就是用简洁明了的句子对原题目的意思进行同义替换； 第二步是提出自己的观点。 这两大步骤细化起来可以概括为四句话： 第一句，采用同义替换的方式对原题目的意思进行更改，当然是“形变神不变”； 第二句，对题目的意思进行解释 第三句，提出自己的观点； 第四句，概括自己所提出观点的理由，引起下文。 提高独立写作水平的另一个好方法：多找别人写的作文来看，写得好的句子可以拿过来用，他人作文中犯的错有些你也可能中招，要尽量避免。 网上找的一个经典的独立写作例子分析; 题目:Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 文章：It is no denying that the greatest invention in the latest 50 years is personal computer, and now, more than half families have at least one computer and the access to the internet.Paired withinternet, the computer has not only changed the way we know the world, but also changed the way we live. Though the new tool might make some older people feel difficult to learn, which would cause some stress and complexity to them. However, I believe that computers bring many advantages do have made our lives much easier and more convenient. Number one, computers make us easy to learn. Using computers with internet, people will find the information they need very quickly, may be just a few seconds. By this way, we are able to get enough materials related to the subjects, thus we can learn something usefulvery efficient and effectively.Number two, computers change the way we shop. Nowadays, people are able to purchase things online. Only we do is clicking on web site for several times, then the money is paid, the things are delivered home by home.Number three, thanks to the computers; internet becomes a new kind of media. Internet makes people easy to communicate by emails, instant messages, and blogs. From this aspect, Internet equalizes the rich and poor, because it makes every person whether he/shepossessthe powerhave access to voice their opinion. In conclusion, it is computer and internet that our lives have been greatly changed by. After all, the computer technology has been involved almost in every industry, so it is a trend to use computers to help us live better. Therefore, it is wise to learn more computer skills, because they can reward you someday. 存在问题 （1） 相对较多的语法错误，这会直接影响到写作的最终得分。 （2）文章第二段的主体部分应该在深入扩展一下，多寻找一些sub-point来支持你的topic,而且文章的字数也刚过标准线250字，这需要引起关注。 解析 （1）W: However, I believe that computers bring many advantages do have made our lives much easier and more convenient. R: However, I believe that computers bring many advantages to/ which do have made our lives much easier and more convenient. (2) Number one, number two, number three这种使用方法是需要彻底否定的，在写作中我们通常使用：First/second或者firstly/secondly,这种错误一定要引起注意喽！ （3）W: By this way, we are able to get enough materials related to the subjects, thus we can learn something useful very efficient and effectively. R: By this way, we are able to get enough materials related to the subjects, thus we can learn something useful very efficiently/effectively 说明：这里应该使用efficiently而非efficient。Moreover, efficiently and effectively both mean “有效地，效率高地”，所以在这里只留其一即可，不然就造成重复。 （4）W: Number two, computers change the way we shop. R: Number two, computers change the way we do/ go shopping. 说明：表示购物的表达方式：Do/go shopping而非名词shop。 (5) W: From this aspect, Internet equalizes the rich and poor, because it makes every person whether he/she possess the power have access to voice their opinion. R: From this aspect, Internet equalizes the rich and poor, because it makes every person whether he/she possesses the power have right to express/ give/ state their opinions. 说明：表示有权利发表意见：Have right to express/give /state their opinions. Have access to voice their opinions用在这里不是很恰当！ 有关voice的短语： √Have little, some, no, a voice in the matter对事件有一点、没有意见 √Give voice to something表露（感情、忧虑等）：Give voice to indignation/ dismay/ concern. √With one voice=unanimously异口同声地，一致地：With one voice, the workers voted to strike. Have access to somebody/ something表示利用某物或接近某人的权利或机会 eg. A dictionary allows quick access to the meaning of a word only if one knows how to spell the word. （6）W: Paired withinternet, the computer has not only changed the way we know the world, but also changed the way we live. R: The computer has not only changed the way we know the world, but also changed the way we live. 总评：文章从总体说来还是值得肯定的，主旨突出明确，论证清晰，论据内容饱满有说服力， 特别是注意了首尾呼应。 好啦，祝大家考试都能一次就过，少些遗憾！

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