加拿大华人论坛 加拿大生活信息看美国人的?事学英语

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Today, at work as a cashier, a very large woman paid for her item with a ten dollar bill she dug out of her bra. It was soaking wet. 　　　　翻译：我是一名收银员，今天工作的时候，有一个大胖女人来付钱。没想到她居然从胸罩里拿出了10块钱。这钱，湿呼呼的… 　　　　Soak v. 浸透; 浸湿 　　Bill n. 钞票 　　Dig v. 挖洞等 　　　　Cashier这词不多说了，超市的收营员都可以叫cashier。这句话的精髓是dig这个词，哈哈，dig一般是指挖洞，这里用的非常形象啊！还有一个词是soaking。不过soaking wet是可以一起连用的，湿的程度比web强一点吧。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语　　Today, while straightening my hair, my four year old daughter thought it would be funny to put her glue on my flatiron. I now have massive glue clumps in my hair. 　　　　翻译：今天，在我拉直头发的时候，我四岁的女儿居然觉得如果能够在我的直发熨斗上放点胶水会很好玩。好了，我现在头发上都是胶水块… 　　　　Flatiron n. 熨斗 　　Clump n.（密实的）团；块

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, I had an asthma attack while in the school library with friends. Rather than helping me, they took pictures using their mobile phones as I was slowly suffocating. I was hospitalised. Turns out my friends thought I was playing a practical joke on them. 　　　　翻译：今天，在学校图书馆的时候我的哮喘发啦。我的朋友居然都不帮我一把，相反他们拿出手机拍我窒息的样子。后来我住院了。他们居然觉得当时我是在和他们开玩笑。　　　　一般来说，送某人去医院是说send sb to hospital. Be hospitalised是指住院。美国的学生有时候蛮脑残的。这种情况下，放在中国早就叫老师打110了。我来美国一年了，有时候真的很难理解他们的思维方式。唉.. 不过这种直来直去的性格也好，就是不会和你耍什么心眼，想到什么就说什么了，所以事情也是有两面性的。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, as a prank, I set my wallpaper on my iTouch to a photo that makes the screen look broken. I pretended to freak out, showing my dad that it broke. Good news: My prank worked. Bad news: He threw the iTouch out the window in rage. It had 59 gigs in it. 　　　　翻译：今天，我玩了个恶作剧。我把我的itouch桌面设成了一张好像我屏幕坏掉的图片。然后我装作吓死了，拿给我老爸看，想让他以为我的itouch真的坏了。好消息是我的恶作剧成功了。坏消息是我爸勃然大怒地把手机扔到了窗玻璃上。可怜我的itouch里有好多音乐文件啊。　　　　说实话，我一直没有搞清楚gig应该怎么翻译。查了wiki,上面的解释是说：Gig (musical performance), live performance by a musician or other performer。所以我就先用音乐文件代替了。Prank这个词背过GRE的都知道，指厚木板和恶作剧。Freak out是口语中的高频词：吓死了。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语　Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". 　　　　翻译：今天是我暑假的第一个周末。我爸不让我和朋友玩，他打印了一套SAT的考试卷子。问题是我已经参加过了SAT考试了啊。他说“不想让我生锈”。　　　　这种事情在中国很正常啊。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. 　　　　翻译：今天我终于得到了初吻，我太太激动了，结果尿裤子了… 　　　　评：Piss myself是一个经常可以见到的用法。另外一个和piss有关的词组是：be pissed off with sb，指对某人很生气。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' 　　　　翻译：今天，我终于领会到在我家，父亲节嘛，就是吃早饭的时候，爸爸喝醉酒，对着厨房里的植物尿尿，然后命令你用你自己的牙刷去刷他老人家的脚趾。　　　　评：又见piss。MS美国人比较容易尿尿。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, my family and I were cleaning out our house to get ready to put it up for sale. We started a bonfire to burn all of the trash and things we didn't need. Lots of things were burned, including a few very large trash bags filled with all of my clothes. 　　　　翻译：今天我们家大扫除，因为要把房子给卖了。我们生了一个火堆，准备把那些我们不需要的东西和扫出来的垃圾烧掉。我们烧了很多东西，包括几个大的垃圾袋，问题是里面装了我所有的衣服。　　　　评：美国人做事很粗心，所以这种事也很正常。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, I was on the train when I felt something fall on my hair. As I investigated, something else landed on my lap. To my left, I caught a kid rolling boogers between his fingers before flicking them in the air. He smiled at me before his mom said, "Ryan baby, stop that. It's rude to stare." 　　　　翻译：今天我在火车上突然感觉有什么东西掉在了我头上。当我在找是谁干的时候，又一个东西掉在了我大腿上。这时，我发现在我左边，有个小家伙在揉鼻屎，之后他把揉好的鼻屎到处乱弹。他微笑着看着我，当他老妈喊：“宝贝，盯着人看是不礼貌的”。　　　　评：此段的经典是：roll boogers, flick boogers in the air.

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola & bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. 　　　　翻译：今天，我未来的岳父，一个让人肃然起敬的来自美国新英格兰地区的绅士，给我买了把价值8000刀的中提琴，作为我和我女朋友的订婚礼物。我太惊讶了，结果把喝在口中的有60年历史的红酒吐到了他身上定制的西装上。他很生气，后果很严重… 　　　　评：custom-tailor 是动词，定制的意思。感觉美国小伙很沉不住气啊。

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FN: 2007年10月31日There are things you wish for and accomplishments you work for.Nothing expresses your pure joy like a Canada Permanent Residence visa...回复: 看美国人的?事学英语一句话Jokes 　1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 　　2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 　　3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 　　4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 　　5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... 　　6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 　　7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. 　　8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. 　　9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. 　　10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 　　12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 　　13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 　　14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. 　　15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 　　16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. 　　17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 　　18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. 　　19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. 　　20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 　　22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? 　　23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 　　24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. 　　25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 　　26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian 　　27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.. 　　28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 　　29、Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? 　　30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" 　　32、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. 　　33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 　　34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. 　　35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. 　　36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. 　　37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 　　38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 　　39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. 　　40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语41、Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 　　42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 　　43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 　　44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 　　45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. 　　46、I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 　　47、Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. 　　48、I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 　　49、Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do? 　　50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语51、Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 　　52、I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. 　　53、The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 　　54、It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. 　　55、Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 　　56、Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. 　　57、There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 　　58、A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. 　　59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 　　60、My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. 　　62、A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." 　　63、Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise. 　　64、When in doubt, mumble. 　　65、I intend to live forever. So far, so good. 　　66、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 　　67、If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! 　　68、A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. 　　69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. 　　70、Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 　　72、Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen. 　　73、Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone. 　　74、Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 　　75、With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. 　　76、I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch. 　　77、Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here." 　　78、You're never too old to learn something stupid. 　　79、A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. 　　80、I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语81、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever. 　　82、I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. 　　83、We have enough *** control. What we need is idiot control. 　　84、Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. 　　85、Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. 　　86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. 　　87、I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 　　88、I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 　　89、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. 　　90、To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

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寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 看美国人的?事学英语91、You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. 　　92、Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 　　93、Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 　　94、If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. 　　95、A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. 　　96、Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one. 　　97、You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 　　98、The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste. 　　99、When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 　　100、Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

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