加拿大华人论坛 加拿大生活信息鲁汶斯基:羞辱的代价
在加拿大
https://www.ted.com/talks/monica_lewinsky_the_price_of_shame/transcript?language=enZT站在你们面前的这个女人, 曾经在公众面前沉默了十年。 当然,这已经改变了。 但是也只是最近才发生而已。 几个月之前, 我在“30位30岁以下创业者”福布斯峰会上, 贡献了我第一个公众演讲。 1500位杰出的人, 年龄全部都在30岁以下。 这意味着在1998年, 这些人中年龄最大的只有14岁, 而最小的,只有4岁。 我开玩笑的跟他们说, 他们其中的一些人 可能只在说唱歌曲里听说过我。 是的,说唱歌曲里有我。 近乎有40首。 (观众笑) 但是就在我演讲的那一晚, 一件意外的事发生了。 41岁的我被一个27岁的男生搭讪了。 我知道(我还算有些名气),对吧? 他十分迷人并且不断地讨好我, 但是我拒绝了。 你们知道他不成功的搭讪句是什么吗? 他说他可以让我重新体验22岁。 (笑声)(掌声) 我那晚才意识到我大概是唯一一个 不想重新体验22岁的中年人。 (笑声) (掌声) 在我22岁的时候,我爱上了我的上司, 然后在24岁的时候, 我得到了毁灭性的教训。 在场的人,有22岁时没做过错事 或者没后悔过自己22岁经历的, 请举手示意好吗? 没错,我就是那样想的。 所以你们中一些人,就像我一样, 在22岁时做了错误的选择, 爱上了错的人, 这个人甚至可能是你的上司。 虽然跟我的情况不同, 你的上司可能不是美国总统。 当然了,生活充满着惊喜。 生活中的每一天, 都在提醒着我曾经犯下的错误, 我也为此后悔不已。 1998年,在我陷入这段 不可能有结果的爱情之后, 我卷入了政治、法律和媒体漩涡的中心, 这场漩涡我们都前所未见。 要知道,仅仅在几年之前, 我们只能从三个地方了解新闻: 读报刊杂志, 听广播, 或者看电视。 就是这么简单。 但到了我这里, 就没有那么好的命了。 与以往不同, 那次丑闻是通过数字革命 被公之于众的。 这次革命使得我们可以在 任何时间、地点 获得我们想知道的任何信息 在1998年的一月,事情曝光了, 网上的相关报道铺天盖地。 那是网络第一次取代了传统媒体 来传播主流新闻, 一个点击的声音响彻了全世界。 对我个人来说, 仅一个晚上过后, 我就从一个完全普通的无名人士, 变成了一个全世界都在羞辱的人。 几乎在一瞬间,我就成为了零号病人, 在全世界公众眼中 彻底丧失了个人名誉。 科技使得人们草率的对我进行了评判, 也使得很多暴民开始攻击我。 诚然,那时并没有社交网络, 但人们仍可以在线评论, 通过邮件转发故事, 当然还有不堪入耳的笑话。 新闻媒体将我的照片贴得到处都是, 借此提高报纸销量, 为网站吸引广告商, 为电视节目吸引更多观众。 你们还记得当时我的那张图片吗, 就是戴着一顶贝雷帽的那一张? 现在,我承认我当时犯下了错误, 尤其是不应该戴那顶贝雷帽。 但在此事件之外,仅仅因我个人 所引起的轰动和道德评价, 是史无前例的。 我被打上各种标签,母狗、 妓女、荡妇、婊子、贱人, 当然还有,“那个女人”。 很多人知道我, 但很少有人了解我。 并且我也明白:人们不会记得 ”那个女人“也是多维的、 是有灵魂的、曾经也是完好无缺的。 17年前发生这件事的时候, 它还没有相应的专属名词。 现在我们叫它”网络欺凌“或者”线上骚扰“。 今天,我想和大家分享一些我的经历, 谈谈这些经历是 如何塑造了我对文化的审视, 谈谈我是多么希望过去的经历 可以引起一场变革,帮助其他人 少遭受一些痛苦。 1998年,我失去了我的名誉和尊严。 我几乎失去了所有, 甚至我的生命。 我来给大家描述这样一个画面。 在1998年的9月, 我坐在一个没有窗户的办公室, 在独立检察官办公室里, 日光灯嗡嗡作响, 我听着自己在一通电话里的声音, 那个电话是一年前通过窃听录取的, 是一个我当时以为是朋友的人打来的。 我来到这里, 是因为我被法律要求亲自证明, 这20小时的录音对话全部是真实的。 在过去的八个月里,这些对话的内容, 一直像达摩克利斯之剑(临头的危险) 一样悬在我的头上。 想想,谁会记得一年前自己说的话呢? 我带着害怕与窘迫的心情听着, 听着自己闲聊一些琐碎的事; 听着自己坦白对总统的爱, 以及感到多么的心碎; 我听着有时狡猾、有时脾气暴躁、 有时愚蠢的自己, 变得残忍,不愿宽恕,变得陌生; 我听着,我对那最坏的自己 产生了极深、极深的羞耻感, 那是一个连我都不认识的自己。 几天之后,议会接到了斯塔尔报告, 那里面包括了所有被偷走的 录音和文字记录。 人们能读到原文稿, 就已经十分可怕了, 但是几周之后, 录音在电视上被播报了, 并且重要的部分都被传到了网上。 公众的羞辱令我备受折磨。 生命几乎变得不可承受。 这种事在1998年并不常见, 通过这种事, 我是指偷窃私人的言语,行为, 谈话或者照片, 然后将它们公之于众—— 在未经允许的情况下、 在没有来龙去脉的情况下、 在没有怜悯心的情况下公之于众。 12年很快过去了,到了2010年 社交媒体诞生了。 像我这样的例子更加层出不穷, 不论当事人是否真的犯了错误, 甚至不论公众人物还是普通人, 都不能幸免。 这个结果对一些人来说 变得可怕,非常可怕。 在2010年的9月,我和妈妈 打了一通电话, 讨论了关于泰勒·克莱门蒂的新闻, 他是罗格斯大学 一年级的新生。 亲切的、敏感的、充满创造力的泰勒 被他的室友在宿舍安装了网络摄像头, 录下了他与另一名男子的亲密行为。 当这件事传播到网络上, 嘲笑和网络欺凌被点燃。 几天之后, 泰勒从乔治华盛顿大桥跳下。 他自杀了。 他当时只有18岁。 我妈妈对于泰勒和他家庭 遭受的一切感到十分悲伤, 但当时我对于她的悲伤和痛苦 并不能感同身受, 后来我终于明白了, 妈妈又重新经历了1998年的事, 重新经历了那段她每个晚上 都坐在我床头的时期, 重新经历了那段她要我 开着浴室门洗澡的时期, 重新经历了那段令我的 父母担惊受怕的时期, 他们怕我因受不了流言蜚语的羞辱 而自杀。 今天,太多父母 没有机会干预或拯救他们挚爱的人。 太多父母在得知他们孩子正遭受痛苦, 备受凌辱的时候, 一切都太晚了。 泰勒的悲剧,他的死亡, 对我来说是一个转折点。 它让我再次想起了我的经历, 我开始审视身边存在的 羞辱和欺凌, 并且发现了一些不同的东西。 在1998年,我们根本没有意识到 这个叫做”互联网“的科技 会将我们带往何处。 从那时起,它以我们始料未及的 方式将人们彼此联系起来, 找到失散的兄弟姐妹, 拯救生命,发起革命, 但是我经历过的黑暗、网络欺凌 和被骂做荡妇的状况, 也在迅速增加。 网上的人们,尤其是那些还没有成熟到 可以处理这些事的年轻人, 每天都被指责、羞辱, 以至于他们甚至不敢 想象如何面对新的一天, 很遗憾,一些年轻人也的确 因此失去了生命, 而他们的生命失去得没有任何意义。 ChildLine,英国的一个旨在帮助年轻人 解决各种问题的公益组织, 在去年年末给出了一个令人惊愕的数据: 与2012年相比,2013年 有关网络凌辱的电话和邮件的数量 增长了87%。 荷兰的一项综合分析 首次指出, 网络欺凌比线下欺凌更容易导致 人们产生自杀的念头。 而且,去年还有一项研究 更让我震惊, 尽管我本不该如此,那项研究发现 相比快乐或是愤怒,羞辱是一种 更加强烈的一种情感。
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TedTalk 可以看不同语言的脚本,喜欢中文的朋友, 可以点击一段文字, TedTalk 回放那一段语音, 学英语的好材料,这个视频, 网友艾米丽娃娃大概在2015年转过一次,引起很大的反响,前两天, frontenac 的一错一生,香激发了类似的反向,一个核心问题, 怎么看待错误, 社会要对类似的错误惩罚到什么程度,首帖文字贴到10:39
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英文到10:39You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade. Obviously, that's changed, but only recently. It was several months ago that I gave my very first major public talk, at the Forbes "30 Under 30 Summit" -- 1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30. That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest, just four. I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs. Yes, I'm in rap songs. (Laughter) Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter) But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened. At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy. (Laughter) I know, right? He was charming, and I was flattered, and I declined. You know what his unsuccessful pickup line was? He could make me feel 22 again. (Laughter) (Applause) I realized, later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again. (Laughter) (Applause) At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss. And at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences. Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep. That's what I thought. So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss. Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn't the president of the United States of America. (Laughter) Of course, life is full of surprises. Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply. In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. Remember, just a few years earlier, news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio or watching television. That was it. But that wasn't my fate. Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution. That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere. And when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online. It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the internet for a major news story -- a click that reverberated around the world. What that meant for me personally was that overnight, I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one, worldwide. I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously. This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers. Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, e-mail stories, and, of course, e-mail cruel jokes. News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV. Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret? Now, I admit I made mistakes -- especially wearing that beret. (Laughter) But the attention and judgment that I received -- not the story, but that I personally received -- was unprecedented. I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and, of course, "that woman." I was seen by many, but actually known by few. And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul and was once unbroken. When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it. Now we call it "cyberbullying" and "online harassment." Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others. In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity. I lost almost everything. And I almost lost my life. Let me paint a picture for you. It is September of 1998. I'm sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel, underneath humming fluorescent lights. I'm listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. I'm here because I've been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation. For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the sword of Damocles over my head. I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day; listen as I confess my love for the president, and, of course, my heartbreak; listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth; listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself, a self I don't even recognize. A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress, and all of those tapes and transcripts, those stolen words, form a part of it. That people can read the transcripts is horrific enough. But a few weeks later, the audiotapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable. This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998, and by "this," I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions, conversations or photos, and then making them public -- public without consent, public without context and public without compassion. Fast-forward 12 years, to 2010, and now social media has been born. The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually made a mistake, and now, it's for both public and private people. The consequences for some have become dire, very dire. I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University, named Tyler Clementi. Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man. When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited. A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death. He was 18. My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with pain in a way that I just couldn't quite understand. And then eventually, I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving -- (Chokes up) sorry -- reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death, literally. Today, too many parents haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones. Too many have learned of their child's suffering and humiliation after it was too late. Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me. It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different.
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强烈推荐点击首页最上的链接,TedTalk 是一个非常好的学习场地, 也许你不喜欢这个视频, 但是, 我保证你会找到一个你喜欢的,自己先念一遍, 单击所读文字, 听听别人怎么念的,纠正自己的发音, 重读轻读节奏等问题,
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赞
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太长没看,先赞
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往事重提, 说明往事如烟, 有的时候往事还没随风散去。
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shw019 说:往事重提, 说明往事如烟, 有的时候往事还没随风散去。点击展开...我感到有一种思路 假如你犯了错误 那么 就一定要彻底的惩罚 一丝的宽容都不能有一丝的宽容 就是对错误的放纵 而不是对犯错人的同情一旦有了一点宽容 那么世界就会走向更多的错误我阴暗的心 稍微的感觉 一些没犯过错误的 有一种心理 不彻底的惩罚他们 有点亏了 白白的固守自己的贞洁了
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我以前看到的新闻,都是莱温斯基的译名,所以直看到文中听着自己坦白对总统的爱,点击展开...才明白鲁汶斯基是谁。我也反对网络暴力,言语凌辱,为莱温斯基多年后能够摆脱不堪回首的往事阴影,重新站起来鼓掌。不过就当年的新闻而言,我想之所以轰动到那份上,也不完全是已经1998年的时候,当时民众对待作为第三者的排斥,仍然如中世纪恨不得将她架上绞刑架的残酷。更多的原因是因为绯闻的对象,那个美国总统是克林顿,是真正的明明白白的花花公子,和这样的浪荡子扯在一起的风流韵事,让人哪来的半丝尊重。更何况希拉里这样强势的一位正房太太放在那,都不足以浇灭年轻的莱温斯基偷情的欲望,那之后引发的10级风暴,我认为她除了承受,并没什么好叫屈的。这和 frontenac 的一错一生,香的故事有很大的不同。
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即使青春慢慢远去,我的歌与我同在…… 秋水伊人 传奇 绒花 桃花扇 女人花 梁祝 我的抗战 渴望 春江花月夜 一支难忘的歌 半壶纱 二泉映月 梨花颂 我的祖国 小草 天女散花 今晚好明月 乡愁 赏 2020-01-07#10 80 $0.00 惩罚,不惩罚,甚至如何惩罚,其选择权都在受害者那里,无论他如何选择,旁观者能给与的只能是尊重。即使不欣赏受害者的选择,也只能默默地在心里对自己说,“你遇到这样的事,要换个选择”,,,,
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yufei67890 说:惩罚,不惩罚,甚至如何惩罚,其选择权都在受害者那里,无论他如何选择,旁观者能给与的只能是尊重。即使不欣赏受害者的选择,也只能默默地在心里对自己说,“你遇到这样的事,要换个选择”,,,,点击展开...好吧,你更理性。我需要想想。也许我们需要一个专门的帖子,谈谈对第三者的态度。
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即使青春慢慢远去,我的歌与我同在…… 秋水伊人 传奇 绒花 桃花扇 女人花 梁祝 我的抗战 渴望 春江花月夜 一支难忘的歌 半壶纱 二泉映月 梨花颂 我的祖国 小草 天女散花 今晚好明月 乡愁我感到有一种思路 假如你犯了错误 那么 就一定要彻底的惩罚 一丝的宽容都不能有一丝的宽容 就是对错误的放纵 而不是对犯错人的同情一旦有了一点宽容 那么世界就会走向更多的错误我阴暗的心 稍微的感觉 一些没犯过错误的 有一种心理 不彻底的惩罚他们 有点亏了 白白的固守自己的贞洁了点击展开...我也阴暗,有同样感觉。
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。我也阴暗,有同样感觉。点击展开...加关注
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sabre 说:加关注点击展开...@admin ,这个页面的关注按钮好像不起作用?
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。@admin ,这个页面的关注按钮好像不起作用?点击展开...抱歉才看到,好像是无法弹出提醒设置窗口,我们修复后回复你,谢谢。
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