在加拿大
俺目前在马尼拉短期工作,菲律宾人酷爱发短信,可以说到了疯狂上瘾的程度,根据调查菲律宾人年发送手机短信的数量位列世界第一。因此酒客手机里每天都能收到大量短信,其中很大一部分相当于国内的"黄色笑话",这里叫"green joke",打算每天帖一个,寓学于乐嘛. boyfriend wants to have sex with his girlfriend,but ashamed of his small organ...decided to bring girlfriend in dark place,open his ziper and put penis in GF’s hand...GF:no thanks ,i don’t smoke!
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ." The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penisss and enlarge it."
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）three drunk friends made a bet whoever can make their wives scream the longest during sex win 1000.next day when they met. first guy:I made love to my wife 2.5hours and she screaming for 1.5hours; second guy:I licked my wife for 2hours and she was screaming whole time and even 1/2hour after I was done; third guy:that’s nothing,I made love to my wife 10mins and I came twice,wipe my dick on the curtain and my wife still screming at me up to now!
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Q:what is the strongest muscle? A:the tongueit can raise a woman’s hips. Q:what is the lightest muscle? A:the penisit can be raised by a tongue. 这条酒客很早前就收到了,因为喜欢,一直存在手机里
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）an elephant asks the camel:why do you have your boobs on your back? the camel answered:what a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face.. 这条酒客见过中文版本的
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ There is a supplement to this joke: A pass-by snake laughes at the two, "What are you laughing at, you stupid face on penis!" replied the two评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）中文的也见过这条
A guy asks hooker how much? she says: $50 on bed,$20 on sofa,$10 on grass. he gave her $50. she says:you’re a man of class.one time on bed? guy said:no!five times on grass!评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）salesgirl:excuse me sir,you can not smoke here... customer:but I bought this cigarettes from your store.. salesgirl:sir we also sell condoms,but it doesn’t mean you can fuck here.
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）This guy has a girl friend named Wendy who finally convinces him to tattoo her name on his penis... well when it’s soft you can only see W Y . One night they go out and he goes to the restroom. He sees a tall black guy standing at the urinal next to him and notices a "W Y" tattoo on his penis too. He hesitates then asks the guy if his girlfriend’s name is Wendy too. The guy replies "No, why?" He explains that his girlfriend had him get "Wendy" tatooed on his penis and it too only shows W Y when it’s soft. Then he asks the guy... so what’s your tatoo say when it’s hard anyway? The guy replies "Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!"
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）a new army captain inspected the soldiers in their barracks.he noticed a female horse. Captain:what’s that horse for? soldier
ur men use her if they feel an urge to have sex. Captain:ah,it is ok. (One night,the captain feel an urge,so the soldier brought the hurse to his tent.the captain fucked the hurse.after that,he saw the soldier smiling outside his tent) captain:its so hard!..how do you do it? soldier:we ride on the horse to the next town where the girl are. Captain:son-of-a-bitch!!!评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Little John attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, John asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. John, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）有意思！
评论
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]life is rough, we must be tough！BJ 227 0213;2010.4.20初表妥投;7.14RN;8.6FN;10.19变5;10.25ME到VO：DYF;10.26CIC变IP;10.29完成体检;11.3体检表妥投;11.10护照登录费妥投;11.22变8;11.23变12;2011.6.7 DM;6.17 VISA;9.16 登陆蒙城;2012.6.15 儿子出生回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. 有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪……… Girl: Father, I have sinned. 女孩 神父 我有罪 Preacher: What did you do, little girl? 神父 孩子 你犯了什麽罪呢？ Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch." 女孩 昨天 我骂了某个男人一句 「你这个狗娘养的 」 Preacher: Why? What did he do to you? 神父 为什麽？他对你做了什麽吗？ Girl: He touched my breast. 女孩 他……他摸我的胸部 Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.) 神父 你是说像这样子吗？（神父伸手摸女孩的胸部） Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes. 女孩 （因为神父的举动而有一些害羞）嗯……是的 Preacher: That’s no reason to call him that. 神父 只是这样子的话你没有理由骂他啊 Girl: But he also took off my cloth. 女孩 但是……他又把我的衣服脱掉…… Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.) 神父 你是说像这样子吗？（神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服） Girl: Yes, that’s what he did. 女孩 是的 是这样子没错 Preacher: That’s still no reason to call him that. 神父 可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他啊 Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... 女孩 然後……他把他的……那个……放到我的……那个……里面…… Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what) 神父 （奸笑貌）你是说像这样子吗？（神父和女孩就那个那个了） Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that’s what he did... 女孩 （数分钟後）喔……是的……就是这样子……… Preacher: My dear girl, that’s still no reason to call him a... 神父 我亲爱的孩子 就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他「你这个………」 Girl: But he had AIDS!! 女孩 但是他有 AIDS 呀!! Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!! 神父 那个狗娘养的!!!
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）farmer bought a milking machine.tried it on his penis and had an orgasm but he can’t remove it.so he read the manual and fainted.it says:AUTO-RELEASE AFTER 1 LITER
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）what is a HYMEN? answer:a sheet of flesh inside a woman’s vagina.its purpose is to greet entering penises…."Hi men!"..
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22 ) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?" He answers, "I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Ms Neelam had enough. She took him to the principal’s office.While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Boy.: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Boy.: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think he can go to third-grade."
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" Both the principal and the boy agree. Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Boy, after a moment : "Legs."
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy: "Pockets." Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut
评论
寒月悲笳，万里西风瀚海沙;碧血丹心，关河渺茫梦征尘。回复: 天天笑话，"黄色"英文短信 （转）Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Boy : Bubblegum Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy : Shake hands Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some"Who am I sort of questions, okay? Boy : Yep.
·新西兰新闻 本周末，新西兰全国降温！南岛部分地区有雷暴风险！
·新西兰新闻 浪完了撞，撞完了跑…奥克兰“烧胎”司机被网友群嘲