加拿大外贸
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？”
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
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大家可以每天发一则笑话 不过要中英文互译的 不能重复
既可以调节枯燥的时间 又学习了英语
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A father call his 7 year old son :"Hi ,baby , can you guess who is I your father ?", the son answers :"Uncle liu?"
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Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
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Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! "Bad dog! BAD DOG!", said the panicked man.
He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbour's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt.
It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it's beautiful white fur as he blow dried it, and put it's collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.
The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his neighbor was outside.
"Hi," he said. "Hi," replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, "something weird happened last night."
"Oh yeah? What's that," asked Jim, sweating now.
"Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!"
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Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
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i like the 5th floor
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A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗？”他责问道。
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
“知道，长官，”司机回答说。
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
“那你为什么不立即靠边停车？”
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
“我本来想这样做的，长官。”那男子回答说，“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她带回来。”
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A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
一个小男孩问他的爸爸：“结婚要花多少钱？”
The father replied: "I don't know son. I'm still paying!"
爸爸说：“我不知道，因为我仍然在付帐！”
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When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？”
"Ah, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
“对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
“我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”
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英语不好，边用金山词霸一边看故事终于看完了！
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Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么？”
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.
“很遗憾，”她说，“你活不成了。”
Notes:
gravely adv.特别严重地
physician n.医生
motion v.以动作或手示意
ensure v.保证
survival n.生存
stress-free adj.没有压力的
complain（about）v.抱怨；发牢骚
passionate adj.热烈的
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very funny
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这个好搞笑lol
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