加拿大进出口外贸请求有经验的高手指教翻译!!!



加拿大外贸

和一个朋友谈了,借用他们得资料,找朋友翻译的,不过都没有国外的生活经验,而这个又是第一次发给客人的比较重要,请就以下翻译勘误和纠正,要求比较正规和地道的语言效果。先此感谢!!!
中国XX省XX市XX区XX内衣厂是经中国政府批准、于1993年注册成立的针织服装外贸生产厂家,企业拥有18年的外贸产品生产经验,产品主要有各式女装、T恤、运动衣、绒外套等,主要出口欧洲、美洲、澳洲、中东、新西兰等国家和地区。企业以提供优质产品为宗旨,不断提高“质量 效率”,拥有大规模生产能力和优秀熟练的缝纫工人,能够为客户提供优质的产品、低廉的价格和准时的交货期,欢迎各界商家以接单、定制、加工等多种形式进行合作。

Approved by Chinese government and established in 1993, XX Underwear Factory is a knitting clothing trade manufacturer in XX District of XX City, XX Province, China. The factory has 18 years of experience in producing foreign trade products, including all kinds of women , T-shirts, sports clothes, downy clothes and so on which are mainly exported to Europe, America, Australia, Middle East, New Zealand and other countries and regions. With the purpose of providing high quality products, the factory constantly improves the quality and efficiency. It has large-scale production capacity and excellent skilled sewing workers, able to provide customers with high quality products, low prices and punctual deliveries. Welcome all businesses to cooperate in the forms of orders, customization, processing and others.
我们拥有18年的专业制造经验,承诺为您提供优质的产品、低廉的价格、准时的交货期和专业的服务。网站上的部分产品售完后可作为样品参考,欢迎订购。
With 18 years of professional manufacturing experience, the factory promises to provide the customers with high quality products, low prices, punctual delivery and professional services.
Parts of the products on the web site are sold out and the photos are just for references. Welcome those who are interested in our products to order.

选择我们的理由:
1,高品质、低价格。我们具有大规模生产能力和优秀熟练的缝纫工人,能够为客户提供优质的产品、低廉的价格和准时的交货期。
2,便捷的运输条件。我们与多家运输公司建立了合作关系,能够为客户提供安全、便捷、可靠的运输方式。
3,专业的客户服务。我们设立有专门的外贸工作部门和专业人士,为客户提供售前、售中和售后全程、专业的沟通和服务。
The reasons for choosing us:
1. High-quality and low prices. We have large-scale production capacity and excellent skilled sewing workers, able to provide customers with high quality products, low prices and punctual deliveries.
2. Convenient transport conditions. We have established cooperative relations with a number of transportation companies, able to provide customers with safe, convenient and reliable transportations.
3. Professional customer services. We have specialized foreign trade departments and professionals, able to provide customers with professional communications and services in the whole process of pre-, during and after sales.
如果您在购买中出现问题,或对某个产品感兴趣,请在网站给我们留言,或者采取下面的联系方式联系我们,我们将在24小时内回复您的任何问题。
中国XX省XX市XX区XX内衣厂外贸部
电话
传真
邮箱
MSN

If you are interested in some products or have any problems in the process of purchase, please leave messages for us on the site or contact us according to the information below. We will respond to your questions within 24 hours.

Foreign Trade Department of XX Underwear Factory, XX District, XX City, XX Province, China
Tel.:
Fax:
E-mail:
MSN:

评论
本人认为译文很好,值得学习。

评论
Established in 1993 after approved by Chinese government, XX Underwear Factory which located in XX District of XX City, XX Province, China is a knitting clothing trade manufacturer. We have 18 years of experience in producing foreign trade products, including all kinds of women's dress, T-shirts, sports clothes, downy clothes etc.. Our products are mainly exported to Europe, America, Australia, Middle East, New Zealand and other countries and regions. With the purpose of providing high quality products, the factory constantly improves the quality and efficiency. Over 18 years of experience, large-scale production capacity and excellent skilled sewing workers enabled us to provide customers with high quality products, low prices, punctual deliveries and professional services. Welcome all businesses cooperations in the forms of orders, customization, processing and others.
作了些微调。
Parts of the products on the web site are sold out and the photos are just for references. Welcome those who are interested in our products to order.
第一、二段有一句基本重复,重新组织语言后放在第一段了。
The reasons for choosing us:
1. High-quality and low prices. We have large-scale production capacity and excellent skilled sewing workers, able to provide customers with high quality products, low prices and punctual deliveries.
2. Convenient transport conditions. We have established cooperative relations with a number of transportation companies, able to provide customers with safe, convenient and reliable transportations.
3. Professional customer services. We have specialized foreign trade departments and professionals, able to provide customers with professional communications and services in the whole process of pre-sale, sales and after-sale services.
这段只改动了售前直到售后服务这几个词。
If you are interested in our products or have any problems in the process of purchase, please leave us messages on the website or contact us by refer to the information below. We will respond within 24 hours.

Foreign Trade Department of XX Underwear Factory, XX District, XX City, XX Province, China
Tel.:
Fax:
E-mail:
MSN:
还是微调。

供参考。

评论
谢谢哦。我感觉翻译的都不错。

评论
我的意见是,开发信这样的开头有点罗嗦。我看供应商发过来的邮件,只有直接了当的我才看一下。像你这样发过来,我会直接删掉的。
只是就翻译的话,没什么问题了,就是内容太虚了,太中国化了。写的再美,内容没有有用的信息,也是白费力气。我会看的或者会存的发过来的开发邮件,只有一种,那就是——简单明了。
直接说你是干什么的,产品有哪些,最后把最具竞争性的5到10个商品的价格都列出来。要是真想介绍自己公司如何如何,放在后面。
这些纯属我个人意见。

评论
您好,这个不但是给客人发的,而且也是放在网站首页的,所以想请尽量完善一些。

评论
那放网页的用这个,开发新可以再写一个的嘛。。。这么懒,非要一个东西放两个地方用啊。呵呵,对于第一次发邮件,完善就是啰嗦。。。纯属个人意见。

评论
写的挺好的 但是是不是有点太客套了。。。个人意见。。。。
加拿大电商刚从事这行半年,对电子行业不了解,自己整理了些,算是学习,供大家分享,也请大家补充。我毕竟是个文科生,对这方面知识严重欠缺。 DVD:英文全名是Digital Video Disk, 即数字视频光 加拿大电商昨天我把提单复件发给了客户,今天收到了他回信,如下: Dear Nicholas, please send all shipping documents. We will check B/L copy and we will reply ASAP. Thank you Best Regards .........................................
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