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Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?　　Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor? " "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.　　"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."　　"Thanks be to..."　　Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor　　holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.　　"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

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http://nicykong.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?sa=784462290 超赞 赏 N nicy 0$(VIP 0) 1,9622007-04-08#2 回复: 趣味英语小故事Does the dog know the proverb,　too?　　　 The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.　　　 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"　　　 "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－Only cash and credit cards　　　 When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for　　a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and number of people.　　　 " Do you take children?" the man asked.　　　 "No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards." －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ A Smart Housewife.　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"　　精明的家庭主妇 　　一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”

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http://nicykong.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?sa=784462290 超赞 赏 N nicy 0$(VIP 0) 1,9622007-04-08#3 回复: 趣味英语小故事But the teacher cried　　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"　　可是老师哭了　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”　　“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。” －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"　　约会　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？” －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."　　某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字――把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”　　[注] 英语中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。 －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ Logic Reasoning　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.　　"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"　　A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"　　逻辑推理　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”　　[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。

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http://nicykong.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?sa=784462290 超赞 赏 N nicy 0$(VIP 0) 1,9622007-04-08#4 回复: 趣味英语小故事The doctor lives downstairs　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs." －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－Which woman?　　One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.　　On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."　　My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?" －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－Advice for "Kid"　　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."　　忠告“年轻者”　　这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，　　千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。” －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－The mean man's party.　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.　　-- Well, bring me the winner then. －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!　　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

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http://nicykong.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?sa=784462290 超赞 赏 K kiwi候补水手 0$(VIP 0) 8,3592007-04-08#5 回复: 趣味英语小故事来占个沙发。

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木有马甲 超赞 赏 angelondutyModerator 0$(VIP 0) 6,3682007-04-08#6 回复: 趣味英语小故事Interesting.

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2008/08/02 - 2010/06/30 Vancouver2010/07/01 - 2012/05/31 Toronto2012/06/01---------------- Montreal 超赞 赏 反馈:benkok benkok 0$(VIP 0) 12,1752007-04-08#7 回复: 趣味英语小故事excellent

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个人卖车！ http://forum.iask.ca/threads/2009-toyota-yaris-sedan-卖车.712400/敢问路在何方，路在脚下。―――――――――――――――――――――――――― 超赞 赏 反馈:angelonduty yangyang2005 0$(VIP 0) 7,4062007-04-08#8 回复: 趣味英语小故事thanks

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――――――――――――――――――06年4月递案，09年6月撤案 超赞 赏 D daniellee2 0$(VIP 0) 6472007-04-09#9 回复: 趣味英语小故事IT'S TERRIFIC

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回复: 趣味英语小故事it's terrific!

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