加拿大外贸
Dear Hiralal，I'm Susan Wu, the manager of zoro. here my friend, i would like to explain something to you first ,as may be there is some misunderstanding with my new staff zoro.
It's very nice of you place a order to us , we are very glad to received your order and hope to make you satisfied with our goods quality and our service.
Refer your button order ,my friend, as it is the first time we co-operated each other, also as per our company rule , we need to start the mass production after we received the 30% deposit , my friend, as you have mentioned that you need this order urgently, i have paid more attention on your orders, in order to give you our best support and make prompt shipment, I have asked my factory to arranged all the raw material preparation already for you here . Also once you told me that you have arrange payment of deposit this friday, i'm keeping in touching with my bank all time till now in order not to loose time .That's why i'm tracing zoro so much about it . As you know , if we did not get the deposit in time, the delivery would be delayed accordingly, hope you could understand my situation.
My friend, just now I have checked with our bank again , but still did not get the 30% deposit till now,so would you pls re-check with your bank again whether your bank have remit out this amount to our bank yesterday ? Kindly check and advise us the status , it's so important , we are waiting to received the payment to start the mass production, thanks !
Secondly, for the first air partial shipment , in order to effect the shipment promptly , pls also arrange the air shipment amount USD 2073.6 to us, then, if your bank have not send out the 30% deposit , pls kindly add this totaly, therefore the total amount you should arrange is US$2940.2 ( US$2073.6 air shipment +US$866.6 deposit of sea shipment = US$2940.2), pls kindly check and arrange the payment asap, then we can effect the shipment immediately within 3 days once this amount received.
Looking for your early reply. Any question, pls let me know.
这个是咱经理发的一封email. 我老感觉自己的email 怪别扭的，因为时常我只是突出一些重点，但是没有我们经理写得这样让人感觉舒服。
如果自己读自己的email 我会发现有很多的问题， 很多地方让自己不满意，但是说不出来，究竟是什么原因?真的感觉文学这东西， 境界不同，效果也不同啊。
[ 本帖最后由 hs2247440 于 2011-7-6 10:45 编辑 ]
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真的舒服吗？ 如果你现在突出重点的话，相信将来会比你经理做的好。
除去错字和语法，你经理比较啰嗦和不突出重点，两段话可以搞定的变成长篇大论。
另： 大多数国人用英文只是工具而已，不属”文学“范畴。。。 :lol :lol
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感觉写的好长啊,简短一些比较好啊
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很不错啊 ，读起来很流畅的
我觉得自己写出来的东西 别人一看就知道是中国人写的
很严重的中国英语
这个是需要语言环境的
很多企业很搞笑的 明明知道对方是中国人还是硬用英文互相发邮件
然后都写的 中国式英文
哎
然后平时工作的时候也喜欢突然冒出个英文单词真 的是很滑稽的
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写得好不好要看对方是怎样一个客人。
如果他是典型生意型的，平时邮件简洁干练的，那么这封邮件不及格，friend来friend去，其实就是要问payment而已，倒这么多干什么。
但，如果对方也是一个喜欢长编大论的人，那感觉就对上了。
P.S.: 有些人写邮件喜欢my friend, my friend的，不知是否我今天身体不适的缘故，感觉有点。。。。**
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用简单的句子表达中心思想就可以，不要想着运用复杂,生涩难懂的语法，句子。你和客户是在做生意，不是探讨文学。。。
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好长~~~~~~~还是突出重点比较好。
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看是看懂了，但是看的蛮累的。的确就是一个讨钱和加钱的事情。说的太累了~
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感觉特啰嗦,别人一看就知道怎么回事了,后面还来个加总,当人家小学生啊
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我要和你经理的邮件PK
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Dear Hiralal，
This is Susan Wu, the manager of Zoro. I’m here help to clarify some misunderstanding caused by Zoro.
Thanks for supporting us in business and we indeed should do our best to make you satisfied with our goods quality and service. As it is our first cooperation in button order, per our company principle, the production only can be arranged since receiving of 30% deposit. However we made a compromise to prepare raw material first to respect your urgent need. Per previous discussion, we could keep original lead time if you make payment on Friday, or the lead time has to be delayed accodingly. That is why Zoro chasing you so hard, we hope you understand our situation.
Our finnicial deparment informed me the deposit for this order still not received. Could you double-check with your bank and let us know the status? It is very important!
If the payment of deposit still not arranged, please kindly arrange the air freight USD 2073.6 together with it. The total amount will be US$2940.2 ( US$2073.6 air shipment +US$866.6 deposit of sea shipment = US$2940.2). We will arrange the shippment within 3 days since receiving of transfer copy.
You promopt reply will be much appreciated. Thank you!
把字体编辑一下方便大家阅读
[ 本帖最后由 四色依米 于 2011-7-6 20:22 编辑 ]
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请忽略我的错误拼写，家里电脑没有拼音自检，我懒得检查
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i need practice english every day.
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I DONT THINK SO
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lol, 呵呵 没有啦，感觉11楼写得挺不错的， 我平时的邮件错别字和简写一大堆（被客户带坏的，甚至客户and 这个单词直接写成n 害我研究半天)，看后我看到经理写的都是的正规，这样能不能突显一个公司是个大公司呢。给人的第一映像会比较好呢？因为有时候有些细节决定了一个客户看不看你这个邮件。
话说我们老板很喜欢我们经理，每次对他写的英文信都赞呢。
[ 本帖最后由 hs2247440 于 2011-7-7 10:27 编辑 ]
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